Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
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