Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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