He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize