yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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