Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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