Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
