I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Randomize
