what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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