He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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