No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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