Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
