dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
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