third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
