I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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