your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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