I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
