It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
