I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
