eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
