Having a random hookup so left but love u
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Randomize
