Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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