I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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