I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
id be glad to
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
