i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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