I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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