got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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