I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
i would one night stand the shit outta him
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize