Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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