I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
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