God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
