please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
my liver is dry heaving
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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