Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
