I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
