Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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