im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Drunk walkin through police station. America
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
