All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
