Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
