boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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