So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
