first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize