kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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