Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
