we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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