I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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