that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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