Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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