her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Randomize
