She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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