what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
