I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
