i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
