I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
