WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Randomize
