I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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