Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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