Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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