I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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