Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Someone shit on the floor
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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