I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
two words: eviction party
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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