So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
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