Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
