Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize