she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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