i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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