She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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