She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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