garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
