I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
