Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
