So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
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