i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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