I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
