Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
