thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize