Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
